


these words aren't enough (can you hear my small voice?)

by jaeminz



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Overwatch - Freeform, Swearing, Video Game Mechanics, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25174807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeminz/pseuds/jaeminz
Summary: jr and hwang have been best friends online for years-- meanwhile, jonghyun and minhyun have been vague acquaintances for just as long, but they've never spoken to each other. it's only a matter of time before this all changes.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Kim Jonghyun | JR
Comments: 24
Kudos: 60





	these words aren't enough (can you hear my small voice?)

**Author's Note:**

> to my dearest, soonhee: sorry for the wait! i adore you dearly and hope this is a good enough ""surprise"" lol :'-) im so proud of u for ur hard work w ur summer class, so keep working hard <3 only 5 weeks left, angel! i love you!
> 
> and to all the other 2hyun enthusiasts out there: keep up the good work gbhdbhs
> 
> title taken from "must" by nu'est ;-D

it’s not supposed to be a big deal.

jonghyun and hwang have called each other and played together hundreds of times by now, but for some reason each time makes jonghyun panic.

they're planning on spending a few hours grinding away on overwatch, chattering to each other in their discord’s voice channel like they do almost every week. aaron will be there too, all too happy to join the two of them on their quest to get ranked as grandmasters and shit talk them the entire time.

jonghyun met hwang the first time a few years ago when they were both seventeen year old boys eager to fill their spare time with the latest video game. after a particularly vicious competitive match where half their teammates started yelling at each other midway through, jonghyun had found a temporary solace in the teenage boy that cut in to calm everyone down. he had sent a friend request after the match, and after a few months of careful messages switching into enthusiastic conversations, that solace turned into something more permanent.

over the past few years, they’ve collected a few others into their ragtag group; although jonghyun would probably consider them his closest friends, he’s still got an obvious soft spot for hwang. maybe it’s because they met each other first, or maybe it’s because jonghyun thinks hwang’s voice is really soothing. it doesn’t really matter why, though, because hwang has the same soft spot for him.

(that soft spot doesn’t make jonghyun any less nervous.)

jonghyun stares at his blank icon on the screen that still has yet to join the voice channel, only blinking when he sees the little notification popping up at the bottom of his screen that reads: **optimushwang** _is now playing overwatch!_

almost immediately after, hwang’s discord icon blinks up into the voice channel, and jonghyun knows he can’t stall for much longer.

\--new message in **#kings on top**

**hwang ;P**

jju im in vc! are you coming? :D

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

hold on i gotta do something real quick

i’ll be there in one sec

he wrings his fingers, shifting around awkwardly in his seat and taking a few long sips of his water bottle. he can’t place a finger on why, exactly, the idea of talking to hwang is always so nerve-wracking; all he knows is that his heart feels like it’s going to fall out of his ass, and fuck, hwang just reacted to his message with an angry emoticon.

jonghyun’s usually fine once they start talking, but these nerves always come back beforehand. he can’t really think of an explanation as to why, but hwang can’t hear his heart or see his sweaty hands through a microphone, so it’s not a big deal.

he moves his mouse to hover over the voice channel and prays that he doesn’t embarrass himself too badly. he clicks on it before he loses his nerve, offering a small greeting into the silence.

“jju!” hwang cheers back. jonghyun can’t help but grin. “man, i’ve gotta tell you about this place i went to with my friend last night. the food was _incredible,_ you would’ve loved it.” hwang starts rambling about some mom and pop restaurant that sounds kind of familiar, so jonghyun lets himself breathe and just focus on the sound of hwang’s voice.

“anyways,” hwang says suddenly, and jonghyun can only think, _fuck, he probably realized i wasn’t listening_ before hwang continues, “sorry for boring you. we probably shouldn’t keep hyung waiting. i just texted him that we’re both ready, so he should be here any second.”

jonghyun opens his mouth to respond, but he’s interrupted by the sound of aaron joining the voice channel and yelling greetings.

“let’s dive straight into this!” aaron shouts, and although jonghyun knows he should get a few rounds of practice in first, hwang shouts an agreement and queues them up for a game immediately. jonghyun knows better than to argue, so he lets himself relax and just follow hwang’s lead. it’s comfortable like that, and it gives him an excuse to listen to hwang’s voice.

“jju, can you cover for me? i’m gonna go around back and ult.” hwang announces in the middle of a match. it’s been years since jonghyun last tried to keep track of hwang’s ultimates, since hwang refuses to use them when other people tell him to and will only pop them in spur of the moment decisions. jonghyun leans forward in his chair, heart thumping in the way it always does when he gets invested in the match. it doesn’t help that hwang’s voice is so familiar to him now, all of his shotcalling and demands too easily understandable after playing together for so long.

“wait, wait, are you going corner or point?” he blurts, narrowly avoiding death as hwang’s character scurries past him. he fires at someone on the enemy team, and they start shooting back almost immediately.

“point, of course.” jonghyun can hear the smile in hwang’s voice, can almost imagine what it would look like. “okay, let's go in three, two, one--”

jonghyun barely waits to hear the end of the countdown, scrambling to dodge the hail of bullets that come his way as hwang sets off his bomb behind the enemy shield. he holds his breath when it goes off, reveling in the way hwang’s username floods the kill feed.

 _team kill_ , the screen says, and aaron screams so loudly that jonghyun has to mute his computer for a second.

“not bad.” he tells hwang, but they both know he’s practically bursting with pride. “keep playing like that, and maybe you could go pro.”

“couldn’t have done it without you.” hwang sing-songs. jonghyun smiles so hard that it hurts, but he doesn’t mind.

they play a few more matches, rotating between competitive games and arcade whenever they need a break from the pressure.

“i don’t want to keep playing if you’re just going to be a reddit lucio.” aaron groans, audibly cracking his fingers while they recuperate from a lucky win. “hwang, back me up. jr should switch to a different healer, right?”

there’s silence for a moment with both aaron and jonghyun waiting, only for them to get faint rustling noises as a response.

“hwang?” aaron repeats, and only then do they all hear the sound of hwang scrambling back to his microphone.

“sorry, i was on my phone.” he laughs. jonghyun leans forward again despite himself, smiling automatically the same way he always does when hwang says anything. “but yeah, definitely.”

jonghyun is about to respond, but he pulls away when he hears his phone buzz; it’s just an instagram notification, so jonghyun almost clears it without thinking. almost. his finger pauses midair while he rereads the message: _optiminhyun requested to follow you!_

he freezes.

optiminhyun, better known as minhyun, is quite possibly one of the most attractive and talented people that jonghyun has ever met. well, maybe _met_ isn’t the right word- minhyun is a friend of a friend of a friend that jonghyun has seen in passing a couple of times, and each time left him humiliatingly flustered. minhyun has what’s close to almost 10,000 followers on instagram despite him being by all means an average person. jonghyun thinks they might’ve shaken hands once at a party or something, but he really can’t remember much of any of their interactions outside of minhyun’s glowing handsomeness and soft, polite smiles. _fuck_ , he looked really nice when he smiled.

he wants to mention the instagram thing to his friends, just to point out the strangeness and suddenness of it, but then hwang starts to cackle over something stupid that aaron says, and jonghyun’s heart explodes in his chest.

they play a couple more games, mostly just messing around and daring each other to play their least favorite heroes. hwang has to mute himself halfway through the first game, partly because he keeps bursting out into laughter and making it impossible to hear enemies approaching, but also because jonghyun always gets distracted into laughing with him, and then they’re both useless.

“that was awful,” aaron tells them both after a particularly brutal defeat. “i need to go lick my wounds and mourn my ability to aim, so i’m gonna call it a night. bye guys.”

“i should go too.” hwang hums after they’ve said their goodbyes to aaron. “tomorrow's a busy day for me, so i’m gonna go.”

“what's going on tomorrow?” jonghyun tries to whack his brain to see if hwang’s mentioned anything important coming up lately, but he comes up short.

“i’m helping a friend move to his new apartment. it’s just me and him, so it’s probably gonna take us all morning. wish me luck!” hwang sounds cheerful enough, but jonghyun can recognize the fatigue in his voice just as easily. he wonders what kind of expression hwang is making right now, and then his mind wanders over to imagine what hwang even looks like in the first place. he’d probably be good looking, right? maybe not too good looking though, since jonghyun has met and seen hundreds of avid gamers and very, very few are minhyun-level attractive. actually, few people in general are minhyun-level attractive, but jonghyun thinks hwang would probably come close.

“oh, um,” jonghyun blurts when he remembers that he should probably say something, “good luck, hwang. i’m sure everything’ll go fine.”

“i know,” hwang actually sounds a bit embarrassed before he adds, “the apartment is kind of close to my old campus though, and i know it’s gonna feel weird to be back in that area.”

“you can always call me if it gets weird.” it’s not an unfamiliar offer, but it’s also one that hwang has never agreed to before. whenever hwang gets worried over anything, jonghyun always offers to hop into voice chat and just listen to hwang for awhile; whenever jonghyun offers, hwang laughs and thanks him but refuses to take him up on it. it’s like a dance of theirs, where they rotate through the steps over and over without ever letting each other twirl away. jonghyun wonders what would happen if either of them took a step in a different direction. would they still catch each other?

“maybe i will. i’ll message you when i’m done anyways, okay? g’night, jr.” there’s something about the softness in hwang’s voice that catches jonghyun off guard enough for him to blurt out,

“jonghyun.”

“sorry, what?” hwang asks.

“jonghyun,” he repeats, “that’s my name. like, my actual name.”

for some reason, they’ve never talked about their real names before. actually, that’s not true-- there are a lot of reasons. for one, they’ve known each other as their aliases for so long now that it’s strange to bring it up. it’s also almost too personal, and so they had avoided sharing them just as they had avoided saying what schools they graduated from or what specific area they lived in. it was just the way things were, and jonghyun usually revels in the certainty of it, but.

he wants more sometimes, and hwang’s voice is so warm and lovely and jonghyun wants to hear him say his name just once.

“jonghyun.” hwang says slowly. it makes something clench in jonghyun’s chest. “that’s a lovely name. i had a crush on a guy named jonghyun back in college.” jonghyun makes a strangled little noise, and hwang laughs awkwardly. “sorry, didn’t mean to make things weird. it’s a nice name though.”

“thanks, hwang.” he wonders very briefly if hwang would ever have a crush on _him_ if they met, and then he realizes that that’s a very weird thought to have about your internet best friend, and he should probably say something else before hwang notices the prolonged silence. “but seriously, call me tomorrow if you need anything.”

“thanks. good night, jonghyun.” hwang says, voice sweet and beautiful, and jonghyun just about melts into his chair. they disconnect before jonghyun can realize his heart is screaming in his ears and, oh shit, he might actually have a crush on hwang.

that's not a realization that comes lightly, so jonghyun does the only thing he can think of: immediately message his old college roommate and possibly the only person who can deal with him when he’s in an existential crisis.

\--new message in **#bruh moment**

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

minki

cmon it says ure just listening to music

im having a crisis

**bad romance**

never fear i have arrived

what plagues u today, my friend?

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

u know the guy i play ow with

**bad romance**

what the hell is ow

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

overwatch lol

**bad romance**

ah ur game

yeah

do u mean the guy uve been “friends” with for yrs or one of the other random dudes uve collected

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

first of all. i resent that

second of all,..,. my friend

no quotation marks

**bad romance**

ok cool, what about him

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

i think i have a crush on him and idk what to do

**bad romance**

OH!!!!!! OH SHIT OKAY

i want 2 start by saying congratulations

and now. Holy Shit How Did This Happen

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

idk?? he just said my name but it was so,,, nice

**bad romance**

doesnt he say ur name all the time??

ur gamer name i mean

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

yeah but i told him my real name and he was . gbdhsgbrhgbhdh

**bad romance**

AW

thats cute

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

please he said he liked some guy in college named jonghyun and i think i died on the spot

He Is Never Going To Like Me

**bad romance**

whoa slow down partner

why r u jumping headfirst into unrequited angst town?

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

bc who the hell likes 2 different ppl w the same name

hes gonna compare me to the guy he knew in college and realize im completely inadequate and hrghrdghhhhrgnhgrh

**bad romance**

thats just false bro

i hate to break it to u but ure a CATCH

anyone would b lucky to be with u

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

:/ i dont know about that

**bad romance**

even hwang minhyun would be lucky

remember him?

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

lmfao of course i do

actually lol he requested to follow me on instagram

like,, literally an hr ago

**bad romance**

???????????

bro wtf accept his request

holy shit lmfao do u have any idea why he wants to follow u?

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

absolutely no clue

ive been following him for like,,. 2 years i think

so this makes absolutely no sense jdskjfk

**bad romance**

ok well . we’re gonna talk more abt ur gamer crush in a second but FIRST please go slide into minhyuns dms

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

I Cannot Slide Into His DMs When Im Still Reeling Over My ‘Gamer Crush’

**bad romance**

PLEASE

at the very least itd be good for u to say uve made actual friends in college

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

ure my friend

**bad romance**

we were stuck together when we were desperate, lonely freshman

we’re Brothers . now go get urself a friend

**( ⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝ )੭⁾⁾**

fine fine

jonghyun opens up his instagram and stares at it for probably five minutes before he musters up the courage to hit _accept_ on minhyun’s follow request. he stares at minhyun’s profile for a few more minutes before he forces himself to open up their dms, only to see the life-shattering _typing…_ already there. his heart stops.

\--direct message from **optiminhyun**

**optiminhyun**

hey! i was about to sleep but i just wanted to say hi haha, i finally got around to going thru my followers and didn’t realize i never followed u back before :’-( anw i hope you’ve been well! im actually gonna be around the area tmrw if u wanted to meet up or anything since ik we havent had a proper conversation before <3

my friends keep getting on my case about how we’ve never really talked so i thought this would be a good chance :-D

jonghyun’s first reaction is that fuck, minhyun types really cutely. the second reaction is that it reminds him a lot of the way hwang types, although that might just be because jonghyun is vaguely attracted to both of them. his third reaction is that he immediately saw the message and his read receipts are still on, so he has to reply quickly unless he wants to leave minhyun on read.

\--direct message to **optiminhyun**

**pockyjong**

hey that would be great! it'd be nice to meet you properly lol. what time are you free tmrw?

**optiminhyun**

hmm im actually helping a friend move in to his place

i dont know if u remember dongho..? but he got a new apartment around the old science building so im helping him with that so im not really sure what time we’ll be done

but maybe 2-3 to be safe?

**pockyjong**

that sounds good to me, where do you want me to meet you?

i actually live nearby that building too, haha

**optiminhyun**

umm what would be easy for you?

actually what about the bubble tea place by the library? im not sure if u went there often but i practically lived there my freshman year lol

**pockyjong**

oh u mean the one run by that old korean couple?

**optiminhyun**

yeah!

**pockyjong**

that works! ill see you then

**optiminhyun**

awesome!

jonghyun puts his phone away and lasts all of ten minutes before the strangeness of everything starts to sink in: the sudden message from minhyun asking to meet up, the fact that both minhyun and hwang are helping their friends move in the morning--

that’s a very strange coincidence, isn’t it? jonghyun wants to think about it more, but he’s honestly exhausted. he’ll question it tomorrow, after a good night’s rest. never mind the fact that it’s already near four in the morning, he’ll set his alarm for sometime after noon and deal with the consequences. he repeats this in his head for the next half hour before he goes to sleep, reassured in the procrastination of it.

he wakes up the next morning to a ruckus in the hallway. there are murmured voices outside, so he buries himself further into his blankets and does his best to fall asleep. the problem is that the people won’t quiet down, and there’s something about the voices that sticks out to jonghyun’s sleep-addled mind. he lets himself rest for a few more minutes before giving up on sleep and shuffling out of bed to get ready.

the voices in the hallway are louder, sounding almost as if they’re about to start arguing, so jonghyun digs his nails into his palms and opens the door.

“everything okay out there?” he pokes his head out to see hwang minhyun and kang dongho in the flesh, both of them with a pile of half-ripped boxes in their arms.

minhyun’s mouth falls into a perfect o.

jonghyun blinks twice, pinches himself, looks down at his hands, then looks up to read the permanent _elevator closed_ sign on the elevator. everything looks normal, so somehow, it's not a dream.

“hey, jonghyun.” dongho grins. he somehow balances all five of his boxes onto his hip and holds out a hand. jonghyun steps forward to shake it, eyeing the leaning of tower of boxes the entire time. minhyun laughs a little, but it sounds so much like hwang--

“sorry, jonghyun. i would shake your hand too, but my hands are a bit full.” he says. maybe it’s the way he says jonghyun’s name, or maybe it’s just his general voice, but jonghyun snaps to turn to him and freezes.

“hwang?” he says slowly. “oh, fuck, you’re hwang.”

“that, uh, that's still my surname. hasn't changed yet.” minhyun glances between jonghyun and baekho, clearly confused. jonghyun would normally back down, but he’s known this voice for years and he has to tell minhyun. he whacks his brain to say something, because now dongho is tilting his head too, but the only thing he can think of is:

“i’m not a reddit lucio.”

minhyun’s eyes go huge, and then the most adorable blush appears on his cheeks in the blink of an eye.

“ _jonghyun_ ,” he says, and it’s fucking reverent, and jonghyun can feel himself grinning and burning and he’s so hyperaware of the way minhyun is looking at him, and--

“are you guys just going to keep repeating each other’s names, or can i drop this off in my apartment?” dongho asks, shaking the boxes in his arms. he doesn’t look upset, just very amused, so jonghyun mutters an apology and steps to the side so dongho can shuffle back towards the stairs.

jonghyun turns back to minhyun only to see him already looking back.

“i’m gonna help dongho with these, and then i’m free to talk. i’ll be right back, okay?” he’s still smiling, beaming at jonghyun like he’s absolutely ecstatic at this turn of events. it’s contagious enough that they both get distracted for a minute just grinning at each other until dongho yells for minhyun to hurry up.

jonghyun gives a weak thumbs up while both minhyun and dongho hurry off, leaning against the wall and trying to force his brain to catch up with this revelation.

hwang minhyun, the main source of jonghyun’s gay panic in his late teens, was the same person jonghyun had known and befriended before either of them even started college. it made sense in a way, like jonghyun’s entire life was tied up in a neat little bow. by the time minhyun comes running back down the stairs, jonghyun has barely even begun to actually process it.

“are you a hugger?” minhyun asks, and it’s so bizarre to hear hwang’s voice from minhyun’s face. he nods dumbly and immediately gets enveloped in the best hug of his life. it’s so cliche, but minhyun’s arms feel like home. “this is such a pleasant surprise.”

“same for me.” jonghyun lets the words burst straight from his chest, honest, hot, meant for minhyun only, “i’m really glad to see you.”

minhyun’s laughter is warm, and he looks beautiful when his eyes crinkle. jonghyun’s arms wind up around minhyun’s neck at some point, and it's such a picture perfect moment. it feels like a closed circle, like a photograph turned right-side-up and finally resembling home.

“we have a lot to talk about, i guess.” minhyun says. his hands burn through jonghyun’s sweater, and although they make him feel like he’s on fire, it doesn’t matter. he steps back towards his own apartment, and when minhyun's hands drop from jonghyun's shoulders, jonghyun holds onto his elbow.

“come in and chat?” he offers. minhyun steps closer until they're side by side on perfectly equal footing.

“i’m all yours.” the wink he gives jonghyun is more of a blink than anything else, but it’s accompanied by the voice that jonghyun has found comfort in for so many years, so it's just stupidly endearing. they’re both smiling and blushing like they’ve never had a crush before-- but then again, neither of them have ever had a crush like _this_ before: one that reassures you and holds you and gives you a home when you’re lost. minhyun looks at jonghyun like he’s convinced he’s found his soulmate, and who is jonghyun to disagree?

**Author's Note:**

> 2hyuns dynamic is so wonderful but cursed so if u have any suggestions for me to write them better pls lmk djksjdkh  
> and if theres anything specifically tht u guys liked or anything,.. please comment n tell me!! i luv comments so much n treasure them all dearly <3 kudos and bookmarks are ofc also super super appreciated!!! honestly even just reading my fics is rlly great so thank u guys so much for that :'D esp if u read this too,. Thank You So Much  
> [twt](http://twitter.com/pjisungz) / [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/ohphis)


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